007. XOXO, Gossip Girl: Bama Rush, Tracy Anderson & Girl Math
Hello Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here ✨
Pop into this quickie episode with Amber where she covers all of the hot goss capturing hearts and minds of the elite this summer. We're chatting about the latest fitness craze to drive women to madness in The Hamptons, the real cost of rushing for a sorority at the University of Alabama, and why Girl Math, TikTok's hottest financial craze, isn't as crazy as you think.
transcript
Amber F. (00:05)
Welcome to old money, a show dedicated to helping you build the trust fund you wish you were born with. Ladies who lunch, listen up. Life is not about looking rich. I want you to build a life and a legacy that feels rich in every sense of the word. If you're ready to stack cash, talk shop, and trade insider secrets, you're in the right place. These are the new rules to old money. So let's get after it.
Amber F. (00:31)
Hello, rich girls. Welcome back to old money. I'm your host, Amber Frankhuizen today, though, I'm kind of like XOXO Gossip Girl because today's episode's a little bit of a different format. We're just going over the news. I've got a couple of hot topics on my mind. I wanted to share with you what the elites are talking about. Right? You want to be in the know what people with money are dealing with all the drams of the day. And listen, I hate to do this, but I have to do a little disclaimer. I'm not CNN. I'm not Anderson Cooper. I am old money Amber. So I'm not here to discuss things that matter. I'm here to discuss things that keep us distracted and keep us feeling high vibe. So with that being said, I've got a couple of fun stories for you today to talk about. We're getting into the drama that's happening in the hamptons right now. We're going to determine if you or I, if rushing today would make it into a sorority at the University of Alabama. And to close it off, we're going to talk about the hottest financial trend that is messing with people's bank accounts and brains on social media.
Amber F. (01:32)
So before we get into the news of the world, let me tell you the news that's happening on social or my socials, I guess for old Money podcast. I'm pretty stoked, actually. The engagement has been great. And to follow up or circle back or close the loop or whatever corporate lingo you want to use to call back to one of the first episodes that we did, we talked about alcohol, and if we were changing our relationship with alcohol based on our goals or based on our age or whatever it might be. So I did a poll where I was asking people if they had changed their relationship with alcohol recently, and the reality is that most people are still sending it. Okay, not exactly most people, but 55% of the respondents said that they were still drinking but trying to avoid hangovers, while 9% said they were still sending it. 15% of the audience is not drinking at all. But interestingly enough, 21% of people were actually saying that they were sober. Curious. And one of the things that influenced people's change in their relationship with alcohol. The majority of people said health. 68% of people said health was a determining factor in them changing their behaviors recently, followed by family and then work at 18 and 8%, respectively.
Amber F. (02:47)
And then what was so interesting about this is that I put up a poll that asked about thoughts on the amount of drinking activity centered around your work. So networking, client dinners, conferences, team happy hours, and 61% of people said that they agree it's too much. And in reflection, when I was putting these polls up, I was like, that's the thing that stresses me out the most. I love to have a cocktail or glass of champagne when we have a friend coming in town or there's a special occasion, but it's the situations for work where it's a happy hour or it's a long dinner, or you're going to drink to get through it. And not that I have to do this anymore in my own business, but back in the day when I was living that corporate life, that was something that I was always feeling I was getting caught into of drinking on a Tuesday, drinking on a Thursday, when I didn't really want to because I felt like I needed to for work. So really interesting. I'd love to know what you guys think about that. Continue to vote on the polls because I will share the feedback with you all here on the podcast, and then secondarily to that.
Amber F. (03:51)
Also, what's going on on the old money front of things is you guys have been so generous and so amazingly thoughtful and kind in the leaving reviews on the podcast. And obviously we love an incentive. I am so stoked about this giveaway we're running right now, and I want to say thank you to a couple people who have written reviews. And a lot of you, I don't know who you are because the usernames on Apple podcasts, like, I don't even remember setting that up. However, I want to say thank you to DM, to Katie, to Molly Millar, to Bonnie, Molly Cahill. I have Susie, Samantha, Janet Newman. Who else is on here? A couple - Lane, thank you so much, Hannah Campbell. And then just everybody else. But especially, I wanted to shout out FlyLoveyDovey, who I have no idea who this is, but thank you so much for your review. Let me read it to you all now. It says, "Absolutely not. Her voice is terrible. The last thing she should ever do is a podcast. Also, these concepts are so outdated. No girl." And FlyLoveyDovey. Obviously, your username totally checks out.
Amber F. (05:02)
But the way that "no girl" has become such a joke between me and Justin in our household, we think about you all the time. And I just wanted to say thank you so much for the contrast, for the feedback. I will take that, put it in my pocket, and save it for a time when I really, really need it. So anyway, let's get into the hot goss, I have so much to tell you this week. First of all, let's start with what's going on in the Hamptons. I don't know if you have been to New York City in the summer, but it's disgusting. Like, it's so hot. It stinks because of the trash. It's hot. It's humid. The only thing that I really found charming about New York City in the summertime was that they have these little lightning bugs flickering around at dusk in Central park. It was so east coast. It was such a vibe. However, because it's so hot and icky, if you're not in Lake Como, you're probably escaping New York City to go to the Hamptons. It's a place where you can escape the city life, have a little bit of a slowdown beach life.
Amber F. (05:59)
Also, the parties are so good. It's become this, like, mecca of pop up shops. In fact, I was so surprised last year, a San Diego or Encinitas based brand, Viori, did a pop up in the Hamptons, and it blew up the brand like no other. But also, I've seen, like, a Chanel pop up this summer. So many different brand activations and ways to be seen, because that's where so many elite people travel to, to spend their summer. You know, Bethany Frankel's out there. We learned all about it on Real Housewives of New York. However, one of the things that's going on out there is this drama with Tracy Anderson. Who is Tracy Anderson? She is a fitness guru. She's been around for, like, 20 years, and she is this fitness trainer who developed the Tracy Anderson method. And the method is this dance like routine that's done in a heated and humidified room. And I've never seen more bizarre dance moves. I mean, the way that she makes you move your body. And granted, I am an uncoordinated person, but I did try the workout over Covid. There was a couple of free Instagram classes, and it literally was the move my dog makes when she wakes up from a nap and she has to do that stretchy thing with her leg and then she flips over and it's like a whole situation.
Amber F. (07:21)
But apparently these dance moves are specifically designed to target deeper muscles in your bodies. Yada, yada, yada. So anyway, her method, her membership is incredibly coveted. And it's more than just going to the workouts. It's being a member that is like a status symbol. It's like a sorority of types. And we're going to get to sororities in just a second. But anyway, Tracy Anderson is super famous for training people like Gwyneth Paltrow. I mean, Tracy was gooping before Goop was goop. And she's trained Kelly Ripa. She's trained Alessandro Ambrosio, or Ambrosio that Victoria's Secret model, Madonna, Jlo, all these super high profile people. And she's no strangers to controversy. She's had a falling out with Madonna. Her and Madonna both went to the press to complain about one another and basically tell the press that each of them are huge divas, which, duh, we get it. And she's also been involved with a ton of legal battles with former employees who she claims have stolen her method or her learnings or her trademarks. Tracy claims that people stole her dance moves and violated a non compete agreement. And now there's a whole nother set of drama.
Amber F. (08:32)
So just to give you some context, if you want to work out in the Tracy Anderson studio, you will be paying a membership fee of $900 per month. So it's not even like Equinox, and it's definitely not like your average Pilates studio. But what's getting even crazier is that in the Hamptons, they've instituted this new opportunity for people to reserve their favorite mat space. Meaning if you like working out in the front mirror to the left, you can pay extra to reserve your favorite mat. The cost to do so is just a measly 5500 freaking dollars, which is so insane. And so what's happening now is that people who don't pay a mat fee are saying that they're being treated unfairly when they accidentally go to a reserved mat. And not only that, but they're claiming that people who have paid the mat fees have more power in the studio to dictate what classes there are or change the classes. And the people, the mere peasants who are only paying $900 a month, are getting the shit end of the stick by having these wealthier people determine what this schedule is, what classes are available, and when everybody else gets to go.
Amber F. (09:47)
So what's so funny about this is this has made, like, major news. I read about this article in Business Insider, which is hysterical, but the business part of it is the most important. The reality is that this is a status symbol. Paying for your mat space is nothing about working out in your favorite spot every day. It's about signaling to others that you have so much disposable income that you can pay for a mat space. And Tracy Anderson is laughing all the way to the bank because according to a rep, this is their best summer ever and they have done so much to elevate the customer experience by offering this new matte reservation system. So while these ladies are losing their minds in the northeast, there's actually a lot of other fun stuff going on at the end of the summer down south as well. And you know what I'm talking about. I am talking about Bama Rush. I am currently recording this on day three. Philanthropy, y'all. And the way that this has overtaken my for you page. I'm so obsessed. Listen, I was obsessed a year ago. I was obsessed two years ago.
Amber F. (10:47)
But something that I don't see people talking about correctly is the cost to participate in this. So if you're not caught up, I recommend here's a huge content request. The Bama rush documentary on HBO. Max, I find this to be such a fascinating cultural study, and I will tell you, I went to a very heavy greek school. I went to San Diego State University. I did not even know what a sorority was until I actually went inside of one. What happened for me, again, I had no idea going into it, what a sorority was, what greek life was, anything about it. I was totally clueless. I show up at my dorm, and a girl that was in yearbook with me when I was in high school, who was two years older, reached out and said, I would love to take you out with my girlfriends. I really want you to come meet them. Come over to our house. It's just down the street from where you are. I was living at university towers, in case you have any idea about San Diego State, and my friend came and picked me up and walked me over to the sorority house right next to the McDonald's, which I've heard is no longer there.
Amber F. (11:50)
I believe the sorority was a coyote. Don't quote me on that. And from there, I had the most traumatic experience I've ever had in college, which included walking in a single file line with a whole bunch of girls clapping and singing as we walked to the corner of Montezuma and Campanill to Sigma PI, which is a fraternity that I know for certain definitely got removed from campus for total violations of all of the rules. Coming from someone who spent a lot of time in high school hanging out around people who were older than I was, and then seeing these people who are younger than those people try to act super hard and dole out shots in a Dixie cup where I was like, I'm not drinking that. Where's the vuvecle? It became very apparent for me very quickly that this was not the right environment for me. However, I spent four years of college and a few years after really wondering if I made the right decision and regretting that I wasn't more involved because I thought the connections would be so positive and the networking would be so great, and I would have this incredible group of sisters, and I'm sure that's true.
Amber F. (12:50)
I know a lot of people that were in sororities and had an amazing experience, but I had to go my own way. And the reality is, for me, the parties got better after college, so no regrets. But now I get to live vicariously through the girls doing rush in Alabama. And let me tell you what I've found. So rushing for a sorority at any school is a very lengthy and very detailed process that has a lot of unwritten rules to it. The rush process at Alabama is ten days of different activities where you are going to different houses, you are meeting with different girls. As a PNM, that's a potential new member with the active members. So you're going in and you're having conversations, and you're trying to figure out if this is the right fit for you, and you're also trying to sell yourself so that you will be selected to become a part of this sorority and be invited into the sisterhood at schools like Alabama and at San Diego State University, greek life is a huge part of the social network. But what is the cost to even getting in? Well, not only do you have to spend the first ten days of your semester rushing and doing all of these different activities, but you need to have outfits for every single day.
Amber F. (14:00)
Now, I've been seeing some people on TikTok say, oh, you might be spending $400 on your outfits, bitch. Absolutely not. All of these girls are wearing golden goose sneakers, which start at $565 per pair. And then on top of that, every single day, they're wearing a different outfit with all brand new clothes, by the way, from all these different places, whether it's lululemon or the pants store or gold hinge or all these other places. I've just never heard of before that are probably southern based. They're wearing David Yerman, Kendra Scott, Tiffany Cartier jewelry. And all of these different things that they're wearing, the outfits they have, are signaling to the potential houses. Do I fit in with you? Do I look like you? Do we have the same things on the same level of things on. So right away, just based on what you wear, you're going to stratify yourself into different types of houses, and that's going to determine where you get picked or placed. On top of that, your ability to just navigate conversations with these girls is going to be a telltale sign if you are in the elite social class or a lower social class, because, yes, they do have rankings of sororities, which, according to the Bama Rush documentary, is based on the way that fraternities view the different sororities.
Amber F. (15:16)
So, ie. The male gaze that has the or that identifies the sorority houses with the hottest girls in them, those are the hottest ranking or highest ranked sororities, and typically those are the ones where the girls have the most money. They're the most difficult to get into. So let's say you've never had any practice speaking to adults or cultivating a unique thought or speaking articulately right away. The girls that are in these more elite houses who probably come from wealthier families or have more exposure to different social situations that are this higher echelon, you're going to differentiate yourself really, really quickly if you haven't had that polish in practice. Now, you see in the documentary, one of the girls was very heavily involved in pageants, which is not uncommon. But just think about it from a common sense point of view. If you are a very young, immature person who hasn't had a lot of experience in those settings, you're going to flail. And by the way, that was me freshman year of college, 100%. I was so immature. However, if you go beforehand to get prepped, you might be hiring a rush consultant.
Amber F. (16:25)
And these are women who have been through the rush process, some of whom who didn't even get their first choice houses or didn't make it the first time that they rushed so they can relate better to the experience. Right? But you might be paying a rush consultant to work with them. Anywhere from $500 for a three hour class to thousands of dollars, 3000 $5,000 for coaching on how to have conversations with these sorority girls, how to position yourself, how to work on your sorority resume, all of these different internal factors that you probably have no knowledge of. If you're not within the system, they prep you for all of it. So not only are you spending money on prepping all of your outfits and your jewelry for ten days of different outfits, you might be hiring a rush consultant for up to $3,000 for some advice. Okay, on top of that, you're going to pay a $375 fee just to participate in the rush process, whether you get picked or not. Which in the grand scheme of things seems nominal. Because when we're talking about the fees to actually be in the sorority, you are going to be paying anywhere between 4000, $104,900 for your first semester.
Amber F. (17:35)
For your first semester, you guys. So that's about $10,000. Okay, $8,000 per year on just your sorority fees. Not to mention you need to continue to pay tuition. And just to give you an idea of how much it costs to go to the University of Alabama for 2023, if you are in state, you live in Alabama, or your family does rather, you're going to be paying $11,620 for tuition. Plus you got to factor in things like room and board, books, all of those other expenses that go on top of it. If you are out of state and you're moving into Alabama to go to school, you will be paying $31,090 for tuition. And then if you continue with your sorority, you could be paying anywhere from $8300 to $9,400 per semester to live in the sorority house. And yes, of course that comes with food. And they have security and actually they have like chefs and meals and a whole bunch of curated activities. But there is a high cost to participating in this system. So let's start to add it all up. We have that $375 registration fee. Big fucking deal, right? Then you're spending money on ten days of outfits.
Amber F. (18:43)
And if you're going to have at least two pairs of golden goose, call it 2000, 3000, $4,000 on just outfits. Not to mention all of the David Yurman, Kendra Scott, whatever the hell else you're wearing on your wrists and your neck and whatever, that's a lot of money on top of that. Plus you're going to be paying for your PNM fees, which includes new member fees of between 4000 and $5,000 for the first semester. On top of that, you have tuition, books, all of the other things, and your sorority consultant. Holy shit, I am over budget. So the crazy thing is that that's not the only cost to being involved in a sorority, according to some people. And it's not like super public knowledge, but it is. Come on. Give me a break. They have this system at the University of Alabama called the machine, and they allude to it a little bit in the documentary, but I find this to be the most fascinating piece of any of it. So the machine is basically this political system that works underground, literally and figuratively, in basements. They have meetings at 11:00 on a Tuesday night or whatever, and where.
Amber F. (19:45)
It's where they have these different delegates or senators or representatives from each of the different greek houses, select greek houses come to meet, where they discuss how they're going to rig the student government elections, or how they want them to vote on different items within greek life or things that they want in or out. And I find this to be so interesting because, first of all, you already have the social stratification of people that are involved in greek life have to have the money to do so. I would not have been able to afford this even if I wanted to do greek life. It would have been out of the question for me from my financial background or what I was able to afford. I would be spray tanning every single person in San Diego to be able to afford this in college. But you have all of these people, these girls, coming to the sororities from very wealthy families who can support them to go through all of these different programs and the tuition and the room and board, et cetera, et cetera. Then you take a select number of those people and you put them in a secret society.
Amber F. (20:46)
That's when shit gets weird. Okay? And basically, what's happening in the University of Alabama is like a mini skull and crossbones. And so much of what happens in our government, in the world, in the economy, is dictated by such a small group of people. This is not a conspiracy corner podcast, but I will get into it later. We're going to talk about everything from Soho House to the skull and crossbones to the secret club that exists in San Diego, which, if I talk about it, I will probably never get into it. But that's the risk we have to take anyway, so this year, I haven't seen anyone too compelling or memorable. Like last year, we had that. Have a good day. No, have a great day. Not just a good day, girl. She was a moment. However, with all that said and done, I love this back to school energy. I'm ready to go buy some new school supplies. Roll tide. And last on our list for discussion today is the financial trend that's taking over social media that everybody is up in arms about. And I just want to say, everybody chill. It's funny.
Amber F. (21:45)
It's a joke, but it's actually so true. And that's why it's funny, because it's the level of delusion women operate on, myself included, to justify all of our bad spending habits. And it's called girl math. If you haven't heard about what girl math is, it's basically the practice of justifying everything bad that we do by somehow making it not mean anything. And this all started when this New Zealand radio host had a caller call in, and this caller was trying to determine if they should get hair extensions for the wedding, but they were really expensive, and the radio DJ walked her through all of her expenses for the wedding. She's like, okay, you're spending this much on a venue, this much on your dress, this much on your photographer. Let's call it $40,000. But at the end of the day, if you don't get your hair extensions, you're going to look at all of your pictures and think that your hair was thin. And so you're going to have to redo your wedding in ten years, do a vowel renewal, which will be another $40,000. So you basically might as well spend money on your hair extensions now so that you like your photos and you don't have to redo your wedding in ten years.
Amber F. (22:48)
And it's girl math. And it's funny. Ha ha. I love it. It's cute. But some of the other things that have been coming through on social are things like girl math is also, when you get a Starbucks, because you have your Starbucks app loaded, it's basically free. Because girl math. Or if you buy something and return it, you've made money so you can spend it somewhere else. Or if you don't buy something, you've earned money, so you can spend that somewhere else. Or even better, if you buy a dress for $500 and you wear it five times, it only costs $100. The dress, because it's $100 per wear. And we've talked about this when we're investing in luxury items. But there is a difference between cost and value, y'all. I know you know this. The cost is what something costs, right? The cost incurred, what comes out of your wallet, but the value is the utility. So cost per wear is not a measure of cost. It's actually a measure of utility. Like, how valuable is it? Right? And so, with that being said, all of these delusional justifications of overspending have become a whole trend on TikTok.
Amber F. (23:53)
One of my favorites was Botox is an investment because I don't know why, but just hashtag girl math or cash isn't real money. So I spend it in girl math. Or anything under $5 doesn't count. The reality is, though, it does, and you know this. But we all need to have these little shortcuts in our mind to relieve the pressure valve sometimes. And if it makes you feel a little bit less guilty about spending money on a late, then so be it. It just can't turn into a habit, right? Because as we know, we can have it all, but we just can't have it all at once or all the things that don't matter. So one of the things that I'm super focused on talking about with you all is figuring out what is really important to you and investing in that, splurging on that, spending on that, saving for that so that you get all of the things that you want and then you don't waste money on shit that you don't need, right? That's the whole financial fight or flight model. It's like, how can we plug those money leaks so we stop spending money on new trash cans for our bathroom and instead use that money to save for the purse that we want.
Amber F. (24:56)
So, girl math is funny. Ha ha. I see all these financial people getting so up in arms about it and saying like, I don't want to be an un-fun person, but girl math is irresponsible. And listen again. During hard economic times, little treats are honestly one of the things that do the best. So we obviously know when people are stressed and they're short on money. Alcohol sales go through the roof, but other things that go through the roof too, are things like coffee or candy. Little treats that are just enough to boost your mood, give you a little serotonin boost, and get you through the day. So it's up to you. Does the serotonin boost outweigh the need to get a purse, or do you want to have a little bit of comfort blanket with you as you wander through the aisles of target? In fact, that was something that I learned in college in one of my marketing classes, is that the original designer of the Budweiser can said he wanted the can to feel like you were holding a friend at the end of a long workday. And that's what these little treats are.
Amber F. (25:55)
That's where girl math comes from. It's literally something that just makes us feel more comfortable or justifying the things that we waste money on. Waste is in quotes, but you can't see me because I'm recording a podcast. So our goal here is to ha ha have a sense of humor and then also realize that our delusion is not really helpful if we're trying to live our wealthiest life, but understanding that it's okay to not be perfect all the time. So don't feel like you need to use girl math to justify all of your spending to me. I'm just here to be an advocate for you, to spend money on what really matters. Save for the things that you want in a high yield savings account so you can get the extensions for your wedding and have the dress, but maybe cut back on the linens because nobody's going to remember them anyway and enjoy your life a little bit more. So I leave you with that today. Tracy Anderson method, Bama Rush, and girl math. Let me know what you think about this style of episode. I love to bring the news it's giving, Barbara Walters.
Amber F. (26:55)
And also, let's just have a good day. No tips, no tricks, no action items. Just something to carry you through. Let this be the thing that you spend your time on so it can be an investment in your future. Now that is girl math that I like. I will talk to you guys on the next episode. Have a great rest of your day. Bye bye.
Amber F. (27:18)
Feeling rich? I hope so. Speaker 2. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Old Money. If you have questions you want answered, email me at oldmoneypodcast@gmail.com, or hit us up on social. We are at Old Money Podcast and I am at your service. If this episode spoke to you, inspired. You, helped you, if you took a single note, it would mean the world to me. If you could please just take a minute to rate and review the podcast. And if you're not doing so already, subscribe. And if you have friends who like getting rich, please share this episode with them, even if it's just on your Instagram story. And I'd love you more than Jeff Bezos loves and on prime. Thank you so much and I will talk to you on the next episode. Remember, I'm not your lawyer, I'm not your tax professional, and I'm not your financial advisor. The content presented in this podcast is intended to entertain, educate, inspire, and support.
Amber F. (28:06)
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